As such, I shall henceforth be known as MissAniThrope. Geddit? It’s a mangling of ‘misanthrope’! I’M CLEVER. My name has already been changed on the Nexus family of sites and I’m in the process of changing my other accounts, or creating new accounts with that username, so feel free to stalk me on the following services:

Okay, so despite my initial reaction to Skyrim being ‘No Creation Kit? NO PLAY!’, I’m finally playing (and enjoying!) Skyrim. I was a bit dubious at first, and truth be told the character generation makes me want to cry, but as a whole the game is pretty solid.

…of course, once I finish the MQ, I will be figuring out how to mod certain aspects like a mofo. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE that people have ported some of the Sims 2-Oblivion hair meshes over, but my OCD flares up something chronic about the alpha channels, which I know isn’t the porter’s fault (blame the engine!). So I really want to figure out how to fix that. Chances of it are slim though as I’m a total noob when it comes to stuff like that.

While I’m on the topic… I’ve decided that, as I only work two days a week and I won’t be playing video games all the time, and I’ve found a tutorial for importing/exporting nifs for Skyrim… I’m going to start converting some of my stuff over so it’s ready for when the Creation Kit comes out. I don’t like using armour replacers so I’ll hold out until the CK gets released and make… ANOTHER ABBOTSFORD! Except I won’t call it Abbotsford… I’ll get more creative with the name this time around, I think. And I’ll make a throwback to the original store. But CBF making custom shopkeeps! I went through hell trying to get it done last time.

I’m still working on that patch for the original Abbotsford, too. But I’ve had no time at all lately. Holiday season, and actually having a social life (lol I know, what the hell is that?) makes for little computer time. Also I may or may not have gotten back into playing S4 League. Argh.

…other than that, what else is new…?

I’ve secretly started some decoden stuff that I plan to sell online once I have a decent enough variety of goods. So far I’ve made a couple of cute pencil cases, some diaries and journals, and a couple of iPhone 4 cases for a couple of friends. Mind, I don’t go overboard like some of the decoden you might see floating around on the net. I try to keep my stuff tasteful. So yeah, if anyone’s interested in some of my stuff, I’ll post some photos soon. Otherwise hunt me down on Etsy in, oh, say about a month?

Life is blah at the moment. I hope to have myself sorted out in a month or two. Aside from that, nothing’s new. So I shall say adieu for now!

BBL, Skyrim.

That said, I’ve been working hard at this new job of mine, which I LOOOOOVE (despite the fact that it’s at a nursing home… and that my mother is essentially my boss). It doesn’t even faze me that they’ve blocked Facebook! But because I’ve been so busy I’ve not had a chance to do… anything. I bought an old Dreamcast and a few of my old games… haven’t had time to play them. I DID, however, manage to make a few variations on my Demi-Witch outfit. I saw an image on the SHY uploader of a variation someone else made that inspired me to tinker with the original. So there are now four variations- the original, the original with a short skirt/new socks/new shoes, a larger bust version of the original, and a short skirted version of that larger bust variation… okay, I suck at explaining things. I’ll update with images as soon as I actually have time to jump on my laptop to take them.

As well as that, I’m finally able to release my Hakuouki armour (which is based heavily on and a heavily modified version of my old Elegant Aristocratic Lolita outfit (just picture me seething with rage at two certain Japanese modders who wouldn’t let me use their stuff, the greedy bastards). I CAN give previews for these, thankfully; however, the preview of the EAL is the OLD, unreleasable version, and I can only offer my sincerest apologies for not being able to chuck it into Abbotsford- I sorta like being not banned on Nexus, thank you):

That’s it, I’m afraid. I simply haven’t had the time to add anything else. I wanted to do a whole series of new weapons, too, but Skyrim’s coming out soon and there’s no point. Might as well push out the few meagre things I have on hand and leave it at that.

And lastly, the M/L/Hellbeast saga has finally concluded. How? M and I have simply put L and The Hellbeast out of our lives for good, and M is 100% over L. It took a lot of soul-searching, but she’s finally happy and free of the rat bastard. Me? I’m happy that M is happy. End of a long, drama-filled moment in time.

And with that, I’d better get back to work~

Also, I’m on Google+. If you’re lucky enough to be on it, leave a comment with a link to your profile and I’ll add you.

M did the bravest thing imaginable two nights ago. On her Facebook, she wrote a long, heart-wrenching note explaining the entire situation to everyone. This feat was not an attempt to start drama or a smear campaign against neither L nor The Hellbeast. The note was intended purely to provide the closure L SHOULD have given her. I cried as I read it, despite being one of maybe three people who actually knew the whole story. So everyone knows now, and M is starting to get over the whole thing slowly but surely.

BUT… The Hellbeast found it, and saw fit to comment on it. The TL;DR version is ‘Sorry you feel that way, cornering my boyfriend and telling him how you feel about it is wrong and I don’t care if you disagree, it’s wrong if I say it is, next time talk to me and I’ll consider letting you talk to him.’ Essentially, she proved every negative point ANYONE has ever brought forward about her in a single comment. She bullshitted about certain situations and claimed that ‘L didn’t want to lose friends and we were the ones pushing him away and she’s NEVER EVER EVER stopped him from seeing who he wants to see’. Massive backlash from everyone (discluding myself), in which people called her out on trying to look like the victim and making the entire thing all about her. Essentially, she doesn’t understand the concept of closure. And it’s now painfully obvious to her that there are very few people who can actually tolerate her. And we’ve still seen no sign of L throughout this! My boyfriend took it upon himself to send a text message to L to let him know that the note was posted (as they still talk… apparently) but the general consensus is that L never got the text because The Hellbeast got to it first, deleted it, then proceeded to spew her bullshit all over M’s note.

All in all, I’m having fun watching her fuck herself over. It’s quite beautiful to watch. Mind you, I say that from the point of view of a troll. Which in essence is how a lot of this bullshit started. See, I decided to troll The Hellbeast so that, if in the event M came clean about her feelings, there’d be someone else for The Hellbeast to target. I don’t mind taking a few hits and there, especially when they come from someone so utterly insignificant as The Hellbeast. Trolling her was easy- she’s mentally unstable and has severe issues handling people who don’t agree with her. All in all, a perfect target.

ANYWAY! MODDING NEWS!

So, I’m working on a patch for Abbotsford. Finally. I know, I know… should have been done ages ago. Especially given the fact that I was unemployed for a fairly long time. To be fair, I couldn’t quite bring myself to make anything.

But now I have a few outfits I want to add, along with a shittonne of fixes for the horrible crap I missed in the first release.

So, what are we looking at? Some incredibly modest Heavy Armour (along the lines of the Paladin set, but more stuff, and not so monochromatic), a kunoichi outfit based heavily on Unrealrogues ‘Sexy Sakura Ninja Armors for HGEC body‘ (used with permission, of course), and an Aristocratic Lolita outfit I made a long time ago that I wasn’t able to release before because it used a few of Lera’s meshes (and we all know just how touchy a subject THAT is… *cough*). I’ve had to substitute a fair few parts but on the whole it’s how I wanted to look.

I’ve had a few bug reports that have been confirmed by several people (I’m less likely to implement a fix for a bug if only one person reports it, by the way, as it’s most likely a problem with their install and not with my mod). Thanksfully, I can count them on one hand. However, if you have any other bugs you need to report, or have found some incompatibility issues, please let me know as soon as possible. I’ll be spending the rest of this week going through and fixing the already reported bugs and adding the new gear.

Oh, man… I need more coffee…

Oh, yeah. I have a job again. Technically two, but one is temporary, and the other is my aunt’s attempt to throw me a bone.

After my unceremonious booting from my last job, I was a bit of a hobo (I wansn’t eating properly, but only because I could never be bothered) and I hid the fact that I was unemployed from my family, and in particular, my aunt, who got me the job in the first place. She eventually found out and confronted me about it, but instead of getting the shits like she normally does, she offered me her Saturday shifts at her second job, which was where I worked before the last place (am I confusing you yet?). So I’ve been getting a $120 a week from that.

On top of that, one of the receptionists at the nursing home my mother works at quit for whatever reason, and Mum managed to convince her bosses that I don’t need a certificate IV in Business Studies to answer a phone, so I’m doing two days of reception/administration work with her (and she’s my direct superior- and yet SHE makes ME coffee. Score!).

So I work three days a week at roughly $20 an hour. Which is pretty much what I was doing before I lost my job. And one of the jobs is tax-free. So things are starting to look up for me. Sort of.

So yeah, the work front is okay now… everything else has pretty much gone to shit though. Not sure how many people pay close attention to this blog, but I made a long baw post about how people misinterpret things on the internet and through text messages, and that I was in conflict with a close friends’ girlfriend as a result…

Long story short, I now dislike both of them (L and The Hellbeast). Why?

Again, if you were paying attention to my blog, you’d have seen me advertise a Japanese pop culture festival called SMASH!. Well, my gal pal (we shall call her M to make this less confusing) who was somewhat hopelessly in love with my male friend (whom we will henceforth refer to as L)  and, like me, greatly disliked L’s girlfriend (who I now call The Hellbeast), found she couldn’t quite enjoy SMASH! because she was scared of running into L and/or The Hellbeast. I’m not sure how well everyone else can deal with a situation like this, but I can honestly say that, if I were in M’s position, I wouldn’t want to see my crush or his bitch girlfriend either. At least, not at the same time.

Turns out L was sick at home so he and The Hellbeast didn’t even go. However, M had a bit of a breakdown at the con anyway, and I called L to at least try and calm her down.

He never answered his phone.

Now, you can understand that, after finding out the hard way that The Hellbeast constantly takes L’s phone and goes though his private stuff, we’d be wary of the fact that he didn’t answer his phone when he usually makes a point of never missing a call unless he’s working. I left him a voicemail message and left it at that. He called later on telling me the reason he didn’t pick up his phone because he was feeling unwell and had his phone on silent. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Later in the evening, I recieve a text message from him, telling me to never contact him again unless it’s a matter of life and death. Again, alarm bells go off, and not just myself, but the other three people in the house with me believe that there’s a highter chance of it being The Hellbeast who sent the message, not L. So I respond with the same level of animosity and call him a coward, and that if he was going to kill off a friendship then to at least grow a pair and call me. So he does. And apologises. Tells me he told The Hellbeast to get off his back and that he doesn’t want to lose M or myself as a friend. I cried a bit, told him that I’ve known him too long to let one cow get in the way of our friendship, and that no matter what happened I’d still see him as an older brother. He called me his little sister, we both cried a bit and agreed to meet up the next weekend for some children’s card games.

Then I never heard from him again. I sent him countless messages on Facebook and never recieved a response. I convinced myself that The Hellbeast had gotten to his messages before he did and deleted them. And then he posted a long-winded note on his Facebook about how much he loves The Hellbeast and that anyone who had a problem with their relationship should defriend him.

Two weeks ago, M decided to treat me to a lovely lunch in the City, and we had a really awesome time playing on bumper cars and raiding the coffee shop at Central station. We also had a long D&M about how we’ve both been really fair to L in regards to this entire fiasco and that we were sick of bending over backwards for L when he’s not met our friendship halfway in a long time. So we collaborated on a message and sent it to him. TL;DR thankyoubye, nice knowing you, etc.

It should be obvious why M’s pissed off. But I’ve not really made it clear why I am. Essentially, I was lied to. L promised me that he’d never let a girl get between him and his friends. And that’s EXACTLY what’s happened. The Hellbeast keeps him on an incredibly short leash and he doesn’t have the stones to tell her to go fuck herself. I can’t afford to waste my energy on people like him. There are so many wonderful people I consider myself blessed to know- I’ll happily focus on them. The Hellbeast has decided to call this a ‘victory’ but in essence, she’s won a lot of enemies and a spineless jerk for a boyfriend, while I have walked away with peace of mind. So Little Miss Hellbeast, if you’re reading this (and I know you will because you read the first entry and bitched about it, and you’re just a naturally neurotic, psychotic, paranoid, non-adjusted little skank who can’t stand the fact that OH NO, SOMEONE HAS A NEGATIVE VIEW OF YOU, HEAVEN FORBID!) then go ahead. Claim this petty little victory. Continue to be an immature little fuck. You’ll only make me laugh harder.

Wow, that took forever. Kudos if anyone got through that.

Yeah. I should probably get back to work. I swear to God the wallpaper glue smells like bubblegum. Or maybe the paint fumes have gotten to me… *shrug*

EDIT: L blocked M and myself on Facebook. I cried a bit… because I literally fell out of my chair laughing, and I landed on my ankle, which now hurts like a motherfucker. OH SHIT GUYS. WASN’T AWARE WE WERE IN PRIMARY SCHOOL AGAIN!

To all my fellow Aussie Bromites, you have just over a week to get yer behinds to Sydney for SMASH! (Sydney Manga and Anime Show).

If said fellow Aussie Bromites can make it, look out for me working Security around the Games area. I will be in tactical gear, and I’ll be wearing my glasses. COME AT ME BRO.

Details and such are HERE.

Not that I take pleasure in the fact or anything. At the same time, I’ve never denied the fact that I’m a bitch. No sob story behind it. I’m not a bitch because baw family troubles/hard time in school/mental illness/insert other cliché reason here. No, I just have a very low tolerance for certain things.

I’m cutting this so it doesn’t take up too much space. Read if you dare, etc.

I live my life a certain way. I understand my shortcomings. I know I’m not the nicest person in the world, and there are millions of people who are better than me in every way, shape and form. But I don’t try to be better than someone. I  have a habit of being right a lot of the time, but that’s only because I never open my mouth without actually knowing what I’m talking about. And I don’t take pleasure in being right, either, nor do I get the shits when I’m in the wrong- I will ALWAYS be happy to admit fault when it comes down to it. I live simply- I’d rather live a happy, comfortable life as opposed to straining myself to be somebody. I only have a certain period of time on this earth, so I may as well do what I want, when I want, and attempt to attain some measure of equilibrium. I’ve never dictated how anyone else should live their life. If people want to overachieve, then more power to them. That’s THEIR life, not mine.

I’m just a girl with faults, in a sea of billions of other people with their own faults.

So it shits me when I’m unable to post something on my own Facebook wall without someone making the assumption that I’m having a bitch about their mate, when I’m actually speaking of someone outside that circle of friends entirely. In fact, they’re in a different country altogether.

This seems to happen a lot. I say or type something, and someone misconstrues it entirely. A perfect example of this is a close friend of mine- his girlfriend and I don’t get along, and despite that I had no reason to dislike her… until I found out she was taking my friend’s phone and reading his messages without his permission.

Now, before anyone gets the wrong idea, no, I wasn’t flirting with him or anything. Far from it- I was helping another friend out. Incidentally, this other friend is also close to the aforementioned male friend and, like me, she isn’t too fond of his girlfriend. Now, she had a birthday recently and really didn’t want our friend’s girlfriend going. Our male friend harmlessly asked if he could bring his girlfriend, and my female friend was unable to respond, so I did it for her. I actually stressed the fact that it wasn’t because of myself or my boyfriend. However, the girlfriend misconstrued the entire thing, and started a little hate campaign against me (as of this posting, I’m still under the impression that she’s getting her little friends from interstate to come to Sydney for a convention so they can ‘bash’ me). All because she couldn’t be bothered to read the messages properly. So now I have to use my sister’s phone to get in contact with him, and I’m never allowed to see him. Ever. Because his hellbeast girlfriend hates my guts. Because she can’t fucking read.

See? I’m automatically the bad guy.

And now more bullshit on Facebook. I wonder why I have the fucking thing. It’s hard to talk to people over the internet. People are quick to jump to conclusions, misinterpret comments and judge without facts. At least in person you’re able to see the person you’re talking to and pick up on things properly. There’s less confusion, less misunderstanding.

I hate feeling like I’ve misplaced my trust and faith in people again. I’m sick of being hurt by people who I thought I could call my friends.

And you know what the funny thing is? THIS IS THE REASON I STARTED MODDING. To keep my mind off this bullshit. And now that it’s rearing its ugly head again, I’m finding myself bashing shit together in Blender. So I may or may not be making a comeback. No promises.

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Well, if you made it through all of that, congratulations. You’ve just had a glimpse of a part of me not many people see because nobody gives a shit. So thank you for putting up with my crap.